Compliments are great for relationships; but not everyone is good at giving them
Men have never been the best at giving compliments, right, ladies?
That’s why it’s good to know that there’s a place you can send men to learn the fine art of saying nice things to other human beings–even to other men.
That place is the golf course.
Strange as it seems, golf teaches men how to give compliments. Tweet This
It turns out that spending a couple of hours hitting a little white ball is just what a guy needs to get a refresher in what he probably learned in fourth grade–the art of the compliment.
As kids, most of us learn how to identify positive attributes in others. We’re taught how to express our observations by articulating them either verbally, non-verbally or in writing.
If you’re lucky, you learn about what’s appropriate when it comes to giving compliments. It turns out that you shouldn’t just say whatever comes to mind. Those of us who excel at delivering compliments know that timing is also very important.
But not everyone is good with the compliment thing. Men, in particular struggle with what author, Daniel Goleman calls “emotional intelligence.”
Watch this video to see what I mean.
Kind words complement the compliment
It can be said that some people give compliments for a living. Top business leaders and salespeople get very good at delivering compliments.
Recognizing nice things about others and conveying those observations can make a person more human. And that’s what happens to men on a golf course.
The notion is counter-intuitive. You might think that putting a bunch of Cro-Magnons on the links, some of whom may be meeting for the first time, is not a recipe for compliment soup. But you’d be wrong. The compliments aren’t elaborate and lack originality, but they are plentiful and sound something like this:
- Nice ball!
- Nice drive
- Nice swing
- Nice chip!
- Nice lie (this compliment is just about where the ball lands!)
- Nice putt!
And then the foursome moves on to the second hole.
No other human condition has men complimenting other men with regularity and enthusiasm as a round of golf.
I’m not sure why men are so nice to each other when golfing. But there’s something about being out there in nature, sharing the task of a very challenging game makes us more human. Most guys go as far as to arrange a drink or a meal after the round of golf so they can relax–and give each other more compliments.
The top of your game
Something about golf makes guys practice pro-active communication.
So even when the men in your life seem to be from Mars, take heart that every day men are showing admiration and affection for one another on the golf course.
Some are even getting extra credit by golfing with people from work.
“You’re a great golfer, boss.”